Monday, January 26, 2009

Good and Difficult

Nod and I had a heart-to-heart on Friday evening. And about time too judging from my previous entry. We sent the kids downstairs and shut the office door and had it out. After some tears and reassurance on both our parts we felt much better. I’m not divorcing him. He’s not going to off himself. (Never his suggestion, just my darkest fear seeing how bummed this tax hut job made him.) There is a plan. On top of that, Nod’s got a job interview today. I’m invoking new winds and change for the good.

We’re on a slide and we’ve set aside our unrealistic hopes for large windfalls to reestablish our finances. We will probably be out of this house by June. (It will be a short sale, as is, to one of those “we buy ugly houses” groups, the bank will get a bit shafted.) Nod will have some of his credit card debt consolidated. His credit will be ruined for five years or so. (I assume that our collective credit won’t be that hot either.) It’s sort of bankruptcy lite.

I got very happy thinking about moving to a rental in this school district. The possibility that we could cut our losses and make changes is very heady. Nod needs to get a real job with a steady income. (Still a challenge, I can’t get too excited.) And then we can be regular straitlaced citizens again. Getting ahead of things, I’ve drawn a map of the elementary school district and started looking for rentals. I have never felt very confident looking for living space before. But surely my weighty accumulation of age and wisdom will help.

In the news from Albuquerque, my mother tells me that she had a good meeting with her real estate agent last week. Her plan is to hold off until 2010 before trying to sell her house. And even then she’ll shop around for a place she actually would want to live in before putting her house on the market. Or alternately she‘s open to building an apartment on the lot and having us move into the main house. That is a lovely offer. It would certainly be a new set of stressors. I don’t want to live in KS forever but I am currently not in favor of taking over my mother’s house. I pledge to reassess in March. Everything should be on the table so we can make the most mindful decisions.

2009 is shaping up as a year of difficult decisions. I hope that some of them will be very good decisions. But I think they will take a lot of work.

4 comments:

Bee said...

I wish you luck (and good fortune, too) with these hard choices. I'm rooting for you and Nod; glad you cleared the air.

amenaneri said...

I'm so glad you and Nod cleared the air and have some plans, grim as they may seem. I won't even bother mentioning what I thought was the most exciting idea in your blog, as I'm sure I've broadcast my opinion lots before. ;-)

Looking for fun, cheap things for us to do in SF! So much to do, so little time...Just realized it's the weekend of the SF International Film Festival--www.sfindie.com. That could be fun. Or the ballet, or something goofy like Beach Blanket Babylon. Another place for 1/2 off tickets to all sorts of things is www.goldstar.com. Or, walking and talking, that's always good.

Also, good news--we can housesit for our friend NC, who will be in Slovenia--gorgeous place in the Castro, 2 beds, brand newly redone kitchen.

Can't wait to see you.
Love,
The Danish

amenaneri said...

Ooh, ooh, on a totally different topic, I just friended Matthew Andrae on Facebook--super cool! Here's his website, you can listen to his music: http://www.myspace.com/matthewandrae. I especially like the song about his new baby girl.

I've seen him occasionally over the years--saw him play in Santa Fe a few times, he remembers me. He used to live down the street from us.

Anyway, you could friend him too...

The Nag said...

Although I don't know you, your story affected me. I hope that, after a rough start, 2009 brings better things for you and your family.