Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Are we fired up?! Are we ready for this week?! Bring it on! I want to hear about someone being extra psyched for their regular day. Ready to take on the world. In contrast, I am "a little hung" to quote Auntie Mame (thanks to Tom and Lorenzo of ProjectRungay for reminding me of that quote) after a full blown crying jag yesterday. It was followed by an afternoon nap and predictably that improved things mightily. No cheerleading in my brain, just a hankering for some.

I tried to do it all this weekend and ran into my wall. I tried to juggle kids and time and could not make it to an appointment to volunteer for church. It brought up all my disappointment and frustration. I don't want to be so feeble and limited. I want to be able to reach out and participate in the world. Not have to hide in my cave and recharge. As I was sobbing I realized that I was glad to have tried even with the failing. I suppose I will keep on trying. But I got to retire to my bed and hang out in frustrated-and-sad-dom for a while Sunday afternoon. 

Just read a funny 5 word summation of Twilight: "Virgin vampire nerds being boring". But this blogger also lists "iced tea" and several other things I like a lot as things he just doesn't understand. So be wary, people.

I have done with The Little Stranger and it wasn't my cup of tea. (The link is to an ambivalent review that about matches my reaction.) I didn't have any more nightmares. But I wasn't enjoying these characters all having a long terrible time of it so I skimmed the last half of the book. Skimming makes me feel guilty but I am glad to be done. I also feel a bit dim now that I've finished it. I expected that there would be an important pregnancy subplot to explain the title but I didn't see that at all. It was a very strong portrait of a landed family losing their lands / wealth / standing after WWII. Not to mention their minds and their lives. Would I have found it more entertaining if I was more interested in gothic lit or ghost stories in general? Qui sait. On to other things.

I think it's time for me to check the email list and see when our next neighborhood meeting is. And figure out what the birthday party of the weekend entails. Our weekends are so busy. My MIL reminded me that April and May are about as busy as November and December. It's time to gather! and celebrate! and spring clean! and --- leave me alone. I would like to get our bedroom whipped into shape. And I would like to take the girls to see How to Train Your Dragon. These are my lowly ambitions.


The Subtle Rudder said...

I woke up feeling feisty and calm today, which is the first time I've felt either of those two things in a long while, so I'll take it! With an exclamation point! (Feisty and calm reminds me of the Emerson quote I blogged recently: http://thesubtlerudder.com/?p=2308, and I can confirm that it IS possible to be both serene and of too high a spirit to be encumbered with my own nonsense.) And the fact that I just scheduled my first therapy appointment only adds to that sense; I look forward to ensuring I learn the right lessons from this time (such as how to be open to love again and not a bitter, closed off crab).

Anyway. Sorry you hit the wall, but I think a thunderstorm of tears is the best way through it. (Especially when followed by a nap.) Crying releases everything pent--all your old nonsense--so you can move forward feeling a little freer, even though Spring is much too full of to dos. Good luck on your wish list--sounds lovely.

-All best from your friend to the north, another introvert who requires time alone to recharge.

Nimble said...

TSR: Yeah! feisty and calm sounds very good. I salute your assisted introspection. Here's to finding the calm center and knowing that the turbulence can be ridden out.

As to getting rid of my old nonsense, I am imagining shaking out tablecloths in a good breeze, waving and cracking the fabric and watching the crumbs and dust fly out.

Sherri said...

Followed you back to your blog :) re: finger/face painting. Sharpies are the way to go, and leftover remnants of Christmas decoration you "missed" are also excellent :)

And I gotta give kudos to ANYONE who can quote Auntie Mame. I only watch that movie about once a month.

Bee said...

Just wanted to tell you that most of the roses DID smell . . .

It was wonderful to be in Texas with nice, sunny weather, although I was equally happy to come back home to England. Sorry to have been a stranger for so long. I stayed off of the computer while we were travelling.

Speaking of strangers, I've been meaning to read The Little Stranger and now you've put me off! Also, I am completely failing at keeping up with Goodreads. I need to log in about 20 books, and that just seems overwhelming.

I wish that I could cry more easily. I can weep in sad movies, but I am almost incapable of tear-release for my own emotions. Try not to be too hard on yourself . . . work and children and moving house is a lot.

Nimble said...

Hi Bee, I think I will write you a letter. This box seems too small for all the chat I'd like to throw at you.

I'm glad to know the roses were not scentless, that puts my mind at ease.

I can understand about GoodReads but you could just list them and not comment on them, couldn't you? Although knowing you, you'd be tempted to comment on them and then you'd be stuck again. Consider this a tiny nudge. Don't you want to see the whopping list of all you've read?

I will point you at a reviewer who seems to have very much enjoyed The Little Stranger. (It's the second review that starts with "Sarah Waters ain't afraid of no ghost.") Just for another perspective. It is well written, I just didn't enjoy the ride.

I am a weeper and always have been. It is a great release. But sometimes I resent being 'unmanned' by it.

amenaneri said...

Kudos to your blog for doing two very fun things--reminding me of one of my favorite movies, Auntie Mame, and closely related (in fact TLo must be friends of Mame) introducing me to the fabulous Project Rungay.

I love you madly, and hope the tear storm has ceded rights to a blue Kansas sky.

Nimble said...

Hey AM, I'm glad to put a little Mame in your day. So glad you got over to see the RunGay guys, you will eat them up. My sky is much clearer now, whew.