Wednesday, January 12, 2011


Single digit temps here. Our Northern California friend Sara is coming for a visit tomorrow, poor lamb. And I wonder why it's so hard to get anyone to come to this out of the way place in midcountry. Bad luck to hit our week or two of highs under 20F.

Two days off school for the kids because of snow and sloppy roads. Sledding took place without me on Monday. They told me that at one point the snow was coming down in big flakes. Not clumps of itty flakes floating down but big (1/2 inch?) individual crystals. It sounded amazing, I've never seen that I don't think. I did get to drag Lexi around the parking lot on a sled yesterday for a while. She played happily outside for about two hours working on a snow fort with a neighbor kid. Her cheeks were bright pink for a long time after she came inside. Since I was home early to take my portion of the kid care day I borrowed a shovel and did part of the sidewalk. It felt like good and wholesome work.

My mother has gone for ten whole days without nausea. Such an improvement. Her recent health crisis has made her feel very far from us all and she is now investigating independent living places that could scale up to assisted living eventually. A practical consideration. I felt very far from her and helpless while she was in the hospital and then recuperating so slowly. But she's also talking about renting the unit next door to us. Ack! Too much too soon. As Dan says there are so many other properties in Lawrence she could rent or buy. I have to tread carefully here. If I didn't live with Dan I'd have her close by and deal with the consequences but even beyond the stress I would experience, neither of them would want to live that close together. Surely good sense will prevail. Mom assures me she is only in the info gathering stage. The girls and I will go out to see her on the 29th so delicate negotiations can be conducted face to face.

On Monday I went to work while the snow was coming down merrily. My car didn't slip too much. But I made sure to park in a far lot that is mostly flat, no hills to get to it. While I was trudging across a playing field I was marveling at the slippy slidy ankle deep covering of ice crystals that is a good snowfall. So strange to imagine all that white as piled up pieces of frozen water. A fantastic phenomenon. This morning I saw the weak sun dimmed to a disc by clouds in the east, next to the steam plumes above the campus power plant.


Bee said...

Somehow, it all sounds so lovely (ice crystals and hot pink cheeks) in your description. I like THIS kind of winter; just not the damp and gray kind.

Interesting thoughts about your mother. Goodness, we are steaming ahead to a new time with our parents. Your mother is quite a private and independent person, right? Surely she will decide against the next-door neighbor scheme.

Nimble said...

Hi Bee, yes it was nice and now the grey skies have come but at least it's not raining. Are you exercising to get those endorphins? I think if I lived in the UK I'd have to carry a list of endorphin stimulating activities with me all the time and engage in them regularly. On the other hand I have no idea when we'll lose this snow, it may be around until Valentine's day.

Yes, she needs her space too. But this ill health really made her feel scared and alone. So she's in fix it mode, seizing on any apparent solution. I broke the news to Mom yesterday that I didn't think next door was going to work. She immediately sent me a listing for a townhouse all the way across town. I'm going to try to not get wound up about this. She doesn't have much to do right now so she's jumping on this project. I'll let her get past her first enthusiasm and then we'll work on it together.

amenaneri said...

Hello, my dear,

Is your mom determined to move from NM? My dad's senior co-housing community in Santa Fe is really beautiful and there are 2-3 units left. It's independent duplexes, but all in a community and they look out for each other, and my dad has a 2BR so that when the time comes, he can have a live-in health aide. He doesn't want to ever go to a nursing home, so he's set up the whole thing so he won't have to. She should check it out if she's thinking of staying in NM. There are some really great people there.

On the other hand, it would be nice to have her in your area, wouldn't it (Dan's problem with her aside)? Grandmas are a good thing.

I miss you. Had a great time with the niece-lette in Santa Fe. She's just the cutest baby in the whole world. I'm in love.

Let's talk soon.
The Danish

Bee said...

The parent situation is so very difficult.
I feel guilty, continuously, about being so far away from mine.

I'm a bit like your mother, though, in that once I get an idea I want immediate follow-through! I hope there is a happy compromise to be found.