Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Into the cave

On Sunday I found myself unwilling to leave my house even though I wasn't doing anything very interesting at home. It took my youngest daughter's personal invitation to come join in Christmas tree trimming to get me up and out. (Nod was the one who sent her, he knows I like that sort of thing.) I was glad I went. When I came home I finished cooking for potluck and then I poured myself a very deliberate glass of wine to help with the socializing. Later I realized that I have a touch of the blues. I'm having circular thoughts about fading away, becoming a nonentity who no one will ever want to converse with again. Just typing that makes me get on that mental train again. But even if I am sleep inducingly boring at times I am still a human and I am still full of possibilities. Watch out! Seasonal and hormonal fluctuations be damned. I'm going to get my short sword and light the lantern and let's get on the way down this winter passage. No way out but through.

I've been tearing through Nancy Mitford's The Pursuit of Love and Love in a Cold Climate which I have together in one handy volume from the library. I am enjoying myself and reading bits about Uncle Matthew out to Nod who has listened patiently. The narrator thinks one should not raise children without a nanny. She observes that progressive don's wives who do so slowly become morons and their children look like slum children and behave abominably. There's plenty of distance between these (fictional) landed English weirdos and the rest of us.

We're going to get a Christmas tree, the one in the Common House is not enough. I have a new notion of where to put it. So I need to shift the tv stand and take all the VHS tapes down to the basement tonight. Maybe I can get  the living room vacuumed although after 8 weeks of not I'll be more surprised if I do. We did make some noticeable progress with the basement over the weekend. And Katy thinks we should rearrange the dishes and glasses so the kids can reach them. She's right. They can unload the dishwasher if we do so. It could even be fun. It is good to feel in charge of the objects around one rather than at their mercy.

No comments: