Thursday, September 17, 2015

Fall and its discontents

Feeling fragile, unmotivated, disconnected. In the past week I've turned to ice cream rather than exercise. (And then Lot's Wife was turned to a pillar of ice cream.) (Does she have a name mentioned in the O.T.? Now I have to go look for it...   ...Wikipedia tells me some Jewish traditions name her Ado or Edith but that didn't make it to Genesis.)

The earlier sunsets and the sound of dry leaves are making me feel melancholy. Time to howl at the moon.

A friend just told me that she's withdrawn her kid from high school because of stress. She's going to try homeschooling of some sort but the kid doesn't like computers so it sounds dicey. I feel for them. The kid will make it through one way or another, her mom is making sure she has options and resources.

I spoke with oldest about a note I found while making her room grandma-ready in July. It appeared to propose drinking green tea instead of eating a meal. At the time I raised my eyebrows high and thought about eating disorders and this age group. Then I stuck the note in my underwear drawer to discuss with daught1 when I could do so without confrontation. Got around to it last night when we were coming home from grocery store run to get her ice cream. (Bun and I had some from last weekend and she would not be left out.) She said it was a list she was keeping of food items that were good to add to her diet, not for replacing meals. "You just bought me ice cream, Mom." True. It was good to have it be a non dramatic thing.

Claire de Lune by Debussy has been my companion this summer. Kat has been working on it diligently and I love the swoony beginning. I love the whole thing really but lately every  been getting more tense. It is a difficult piece of piano music. Kat has been getting further into it but is playing it now with more vigor and frustration than sweetness and anticipation. She is struggling with it, worrying at it. Last night she kept banging the keys and growling when she hit tangled notes. I had to ban Clair de Lune for the evening.

I'll play this version for her. Walter is making my toes curl.

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