Friday, September 19, 2014

Where are we

Local jonagold apple with the crisp! and the tartsweet juicy! Must be beautiful fall. Bun has been wanting pomegranates for about six weeks now. Her inner fruit clock is fast. I do love to see the only-available-for-a-little-while treats:  concord grapes, prune plums, pomegranates, peaches, reeeeal tomatoes.

The furniture movers are coming tomorrow morning god help us all. I think there will be a certain amount of flinging. If we fling everything into the closets they can move the big heavy stuff and then we can be more organized about the packing and the transferring. I am not the best general. So glad Nod has hired the truck and the men. Even if we'll be running around tomorrow like crazy fiends.

Friday, September 12, 2014

So Much Money, Honey

Going out of course, not coming in. The oil change revealed cracks in the timing belt. New timing belt and water pump for the 2006 Subaru? Done! There is a good side to this because I get to enjoy six months or so of the feeling that the engine is up to date and worry free.

Add an additional vet appointment for a dog who apparently licked a hole in her leg just because she was bored. This made me sob on the way home last night, thinking that this dog is now revealed as neurotic and high needs and I can't take it. I still don't know what to think about her. Sweet as the day is long. Stinks like a day old fish. Has gooey ear canals. Stink and gooeyness are because she is allergic to grass and trees and dust mites. Probably should have daily injections of allergy meds to make that better. Guess what doesn't sound like a fun addition to my daily routine? Even Kat, the most pro-dog among us, is unwilling to give shots. I don't think Nod is ready for that sort of daily grind. So, children, this is the moral of the story: pound dogs can be every bit as expensive as pure breds.

I guess I can look at it as a six month experiment. We can try the injections through March and see if things are better in general. Wish I could delegate someone to try this and report back.

I also wish I could go shopping and buy a really great pair of black walking shoes and a pretty shoulder bag and...

I haven't been able to exercise for a few weeks and it's not a good feeling. I need to make dates on the calendar for 5:30 jogs -- maybe that'll help it happen. Grrr.

Went to the library last night and brought home two books about Elizabethan daily life. Finished the Tess Monaghan novel I was reading. I liked the Baltimoriana but the villains didn't do much for me. I checked out a novel that's got characters from the Chinese zodiac, seems like it should be awesome or terrible.


Felt good to sing out my complaints above. Now it's later in the day and I've gotten through one workshop where I did my first bit of presenting. It went fine and I'm much encouraged. I need the practice and the only way to get it is to do it. Exhaling. I get to do my bit again at 4:00pm. It will be good for me. And it'll be lovely when it's done and it's wine o'clock.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Domestic Violence Rates

Jaw dropping numbers. Are we able to look this in the face more now? Some very hopeful stats.

From the US Bureau of Justice Statistics:
  • From 1994 to 2010, the overall rate of intimate partner violence in the United States declined by 64%, from 9.8 victimizations per 1,000 persons age 12 or older to 3.6 per 1,000.
  • Intimate partner violence declined by more than 60% for both males and females from 1994 to 2010.
  • From 1994 to 2010, about 4 in 5 victims of intimate partner violence were female.
  • Females ages 18 to 24 and 25 to 34 generally experienced the highest rates of intimate partner violence.
  • Compared to every other age group, a smaller percentage of female victims ages 12 to 17 were previously victimized by the same offender.
  • The rate of intimate partner violence for Hispanic females declined 78%, from 18.8 victimizations per 1,000 in 1994 to 4.1 per 1,000 in 2010.
  • Females living in households comprised of one female adult with children experienced intimate partner violence at a rate more than 10 times higher than households with married adults with children and 6 times higher than households with one female only.

Don't let it slide. The schools (K thru college) are trying to help kids be constructive bystanders in regards to reducing bullying and (eventually) sexual violence. This sounds really useful to me. I hope I can learn from it too.


Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Score so far

Things I did today and it's not even 11am:

Went out to breakfast and had fried eggs and fried potatoes and bacon and avocado (which would not have benefitted from being fried). Caught up with my former work team-mates who seem well. Drank all caff coffee which left me a bit edgy.

Unzipped the dog from her crate. Every night we throw a trisket (or something crunchy) in to get her to go in the crate for bed some time after 9:30p. The crate is a large sized nylon sided travel crate that my mother gave us for the kids to play in back when they were toddlers. In the morning Snickers is happy to tumble out when we unzip the door. She never whines or barks to be let out and I am humbled by her restraint. When Hollister came over this summer she didn't know about the crate and went all over the house calling for Snickers without finding her. H was starting to panic thinking that the dog had gotten out of the house somehow when she finally noticed the big blue crate in the living room and the dog watching her and wagging her tail, waiting to be seen.

Learned a couple of new things about the software tool my job is built around. So much to learn, so much teaching background I don't have.

Walked across campus. I park by the computer center even though I am now working (again) in a building in central campus. It's better to spend my time walking to/from the lot than threading my way to a closer parking lot and dealing with car and foot traffic.

Called the elementary school to say that Bun would be home sick again today. But the good news is that her forehead felt cool when I checked on her this morning. Here's hoping she'll be ready to go to school tomorrow.

Emailed our new landlord to set up a time to get the house keys and do a walk through next Monday evening. Excited but also dealing with a glum spouse. Poor Nod used the phrase 'anticipatory dread' a couple of days ago.

Friday, September 5, 2014


Went swimming at the pagan retreat lake last night with friend Camelia. She's a midwife and solidly pro-skinny-dipping. We had a wonderful time even though much of the conversation was about her in-progress divorce. She's sad and angry because he's the leaver, she's still in love. It's such a hard place. We are all Team Camellia, she is full of value and her ex-guy is continually demonstrating his lack of maturity. But hard to know how to help someone stop being in love. She has all the good reasons for her head. Now how to re-direct her heart?

The lake was so different than last week. It surprised me.
Last week we were bombed by mayflies and only a few skeeters. High thin clouds across the sky and no moon.
Last night we watched large and small bats swirling and hunting until full dark made them invisible. The sky was completely clear. A waxing gibbous moon and many stars shone on us. The moon was so bright we had distinct shadows. Sadly the mayflies were gone and all the skeeters were out keening in my ears (but good for bat dining). The air and water were cooler and after 90 minutes in the water I started getting cold. We felt so lucky swimming under the stars. A sweet farewell to summer.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014


I'm reading blogs so I should write too, right? Righty right. A rare fresh Waffle post deserves as much. I will not have as much disposable time in this job. On the other hand I may get a smart phone this fall. We may opt for wifi and then I could use the kindle. But those are uncertain options and nothing about our current rickety gift pc makes me want to spend time in the evening squinting at a blog post. We'll see when the days get darker and the cold moves in whether I'll cosy back up to blogging.

Rather uncomfortable taking my leave of the co housing neighbs. I love the mowing (after it's done). I hate that certain folks are on the hook to the bank and they haven't been able to sell the open units. I love the porch. I love my husband's gardening. I hate the sense of disappointment I feel. I tried to go to a book club meeting last night but while I was putting away clean dishes in the common house there was a general meeting of the owners and it was uncomfortable tiptoeing out past that. As I said to Nod last night I have made it clear that it is not my business so I'd best leave it alone.

Non specific stomach pains had me at the dr's office with Kat yesterday. Ruled out anything scary. We're trying avoiding dairy for a week but neither the doc nor I think that's the thing. Wash the dog's ears, avoid dairy for oldest kid, more moving targets for the week?

Days getting shorter and I can't run in the dark. Have to make efforts to shift the routine, aiee! More boxes obtained and filled. Anxiety mounts but it's not keeping me up. Let's see what happens next.

Went night swimming last Thursday with Nod at the naked pagan pond. It was so beautiful, even with insects dive bombing our heads. He wants to go again tomorrow night because it'll be hot. I think I'll go. He's so greedy about pleasure. Sometimes it drives me bats because the priorities are off but sometimes I am grateful. We're alive and we'd better grab it now!

Friday, August 15, 2014

Exhale slowly

Relaxing more into the new job. First workshop for me to assist with is next Friday and I've stopped getting the adrenaline rush (shallow breaths, alarmed guts) just thinking about it. I won't present, just smile supportively and answer questions if asked. I'll attend some other sessions next week and then get more experience by setting up the a/v equipment and so on. I was told it would be a gradual process but was afraid of being dropped into the deep end and revealing my incompetencies. Funny to see my brain ignore information because of Fear. The other parts are going well, I can tell I'm taking up some slack and giving the team some ability to do more. My manager is overwhelmed, I wonder if that is a constant state or if it will settle out during the semester.

We're moving. Is this because my summer of responsibility is not a summer after all but a new era? The plan is to sign a lease this weekend to start September 15. A week or so ago I saw a for rent sign on one of my top pick blocks for relocating. I didn't want to move in August but took down the info anyway. We are friends with two other families on this block. It's just over the district line so in the fullness of time our girls can go to the high school near the campus where I work. They will keep going to their current elementary and middle schools. In fact Kat will be moving closer so she'll have a half block walk to middle school. Bun will add three blocks her her school walk and I'm a bit concerned. But there are possibilities... curtailing overly detailed discussion of complicated child delivery systems.

We went to see the house and it's everything I want. It has hard wood floors, 3BR, 2BA, garage, fenced backyard, full basement and locationlocationlocation. It's small, I don't want anything too big to clean. But enough room for me. I think it will be a bit small for Nod. He may feel constrained. What he told me was that it lacks some elements in his sweet spot: a porch being first on the list. It's a single level ranch which is his least favorite design and the layout reminds us both of his mother's house (oy!). But he said he can tell how much the rest of us like it and he is willing to defer to our desires. The rent is just slightly more than we pay now. The landlord seems conscientious and maybe even sweet. She and partner lived in the house until they moved to the country. It's been rented to just one family for the last five years. Everything is in good condition (better condition than I had hoped for in a rental) except for a roof issue that is being dealt with.

We are ready to move out of the co housing place. I will be sad to say goodbye to the network we have been participating in for more than four years. But I will be glad to let go of the crankiness and the uncertainty of group decision making. Namaste to my neighbs. I hope to participate in some things in the future there. But I realize that we have experienced hurt feelings when people have moved out so I should expect that to happen to those we are bidding farewell.

I am remembering that good stress is still stress. I went walkjogging twice this week, probably should have gone this morning. My favorite part of exercising in the morning is when I get home and bend over at the waist. I keep my knees as straight as possible and take several breaths until I can touch the floor. I visualize my lower back releasing and extending. It feels great. Maybe I am learning to take on more responsibility and have a more active role in navigating life. Curious. I've heard that hormonal changes at my time of life may result in lowered female hormones and higher expression of male hormones. My yang age? If true this trend will be interesting to combine with my self image as a grumpy rabbit.

Start of school has exhausted the kids but I think they are happy to have new things to think about. Kat is also very excited about packing. She asked me to go to the liquor store to ask for boxes a few nights ago. We have filled a few. The kids have packed all the important stuffed animals that they won't need until late September.