Staying small

Someone I follow on bluesky wrote that they are deliberately choosing to share small moments from their life right now. This doesn't mean that they aren't aware (upset/nauseated/etc.) by current events. But by communicating some of their every day perspective they are consciously connecting with others that way. Endorsed.

There is a small plant that has sprung up between the gravel at the SE corner of our house. It's next to a large pot that contains prickly pear cactus. Since we moved in, the cactus always looks sad because we don't water it. But it endures because - cactus. I noticed the little plant after the roofers power washed the roof in preparation for our new white latex roof covering. (I think the change to bright white roof is already making the house cooler, thank gods.) I think it may be a hollyhock, one of my favorite non native plants. No idea whether it can survive on that sunniest of corners but I have begun watering it. I'll water it twice a week and the cactus pot once a week and see how it goes.  

We have other plants that appear in the gravel. I pull all the ones with thorns and the fox tail grass. But there is a very fine ornamental grass that has spread from their landscaped locations. I'm not sure if we're going to be able to manage that without poisoning it or re-smothering. The greater likelihood is that the yard will just fill with this ornamental grass because that is the path of least resistance. Doesn't seem like the worst thing. 

The mulberry tree in the front is dropping its catkins, little fingers of plant reproductive material (flowers?). If the winds don't do my work for me, I'll sweep the gravel in a week or so once it's done. 

 

 

Timbre of your limbs

Last week I found a bluesky thread about songs that make you feel warm and safe. What a great thing to think about and the replies are a lovely bouquet. One new-to-me Decemberists song really got to me. I cried hard after hearing this and that was needed. Now I want to sing it to my loved ones.

As I said to people I sent it to - no dismemberments or palanquins in this one. 

So much bad to go around. So much out of my control .Petit Chou works in computer security for county government in another state and says he's expecting bad things coming from the feds to affect his job very soon. I don't know what he sees coming down the pike. Really glad that his band is doing a lot of practice and getting ready for public performances. I can't think of a better alternative to the present awfulness than making music with other people.  

I feel better after hearing from some friends yesterday. (Including the little cabbage. I thought about messaging him earlier but didn't want to pester. Will try less worrying about that.) I've been glum and think part of it is getting away from my jogging routine. Or at least I hope it's as easily fixed as that. I've been taking old-lady-weights classes and it has cockblocked my will to do much else exercise-wise. I will try to jog today and see if I can keep more plates spinning and spirits lifted. Pleased that I'm going to see the Danish and maybe AT tomorrow.

Another depressant was a polite no thank you after a chatty coffee date last weekend. I'm not sure I can do much of this. Still trying to figure out what I want from the process, if anything. Nod is so convinced that this is the way. We are a comedy that's for sure.  

Short and Tall

 <hands over ears>LALALALALALALA

I find I can't take national news seriously right now. I suppose I'll be sad and angry about it later but for now my personal threshold for absurdity has been reached.

I lit a candle yesterday with intention. Watch out. 

My tall Texas college friend shared this song with me. Now that's a sexy breakup song:

Face

Big spring trip to Kansas is over. I am experiencing the settling down after that. Have been melancholy, smug, weepy, content and frustrated so far. A friend sympathized and referred to the dopamine depletion after a trip like this. I've burned through some of the infatuation as expected. Last spring was a coup de foudre. As I told the Danish, I wasn't expecting a boy. (I checked and learned that foudre is "lightning and thunder" the whole phenomenon, éclair is lightning and tonnerre is thunder.) Nod and I are supporting each other, it's good to have understanding company. 

I have a lot of thoughts about what I want to do more of and less of. I wonder if the hormonal roller coaster is dipping now. I am working on saying what I want rather than leveraging acceptance and accommodation. Being an asshole (asking directly and acknowledging that this can hurt others' feelings) can be helpful for everyone, as V says. 

The current national crisis doesn't help lift me from a low mood. I skim bluesky and read some news there when I'm feeling up to it. Other days I concentrate on the personal stories, art, pets and nature photography instead. Yesterday I walked with a friend and went jogging for the first time in a couple weeks. Daylight, social contact, fresh air and exercise continue to have their boring helpful effects.       

The skin on and around my nose has been reactive for a long time, some redness, pimples, dryness. I assumed it was a combination of the rosacea and maybe some fungus. (Gah! so gross. I treated it.) I'm trying more moisture. I'm going to rinse or wash my face morning and evening and put on some jojoba as well as moisturizer. I will check in after a week. More moisture for desert living.

I ran into this Annunciation by Jan van Eyck and am still thinking about it. I won't include the whole image as it's tall and thin, assumed to be the left side of a triptych whose other pieces are lost. "Oil on canvas transferred from panel" how is that possible? I'll have to ask the art conservator daughter. Here's a detail:

My repost comment: 

This one is wild. The overloaded angel (big smile, crown, rainbo wings, rock crystal rod) and the plainest Mary I've seen in a long time with a gilt target line where the holy spirit dove is going to hit her right on top of her head. Oh those windows in the bkgrd. 

The National Gallery write up points out that Mary and her angel are larger than human size within this church setting. The Wikipedia article lists more details about the roof, floor, windows and walls. This thing is vibrating with symbolism. Oh those ecstatic Dutch religious painters. I love all the meanings but also don't like the figures in this painting, what a combination.   

    

Comics

I'm having a great time with comedian Gianmarco Soresi's podcast The Downside on youtube. Yesterday I watched his interview with Yamaneika Saunders who is effervescent even when low on iron. The first one I watched was his interview with Brennan Lee Mulligan, professional D&D dungeon master. I kind of love this exists as a job. There are some fun Jeff Goldblum anecdotes at about an hour in. I liked how Mulligan described how his mother's drugs and alcohol talk during his teens has stuck with him. She referred to an incident involving one of their relatives and told him that he had particular risk for addiction because of his genetics. She said that of course alcohol and drugs are fun and asked him how many of his classmates were already indulging. He said he knew about ten people at that point. She told him that one of the ten will just disappear in the future and he'd be sad about that disappearance for the rest of his life. I'm not a teetotaller but that is memorable! 

Last night we watched Rosebud Baker's special on Netflix which was filmed when she was eight months pregnant and also when she was a year post partum. It was a little jarring at first, I had to rewind when the first jump happened to make sure I hadn't missed something. I howled at a couple of her barbs. One of my favorites was her story of her hairdresser who went in for QAnon. RB talked about the belief that a vast group of very rich people were drinking children's blood to stay young. She said 'I was raised by rich people and first of all, they're not touching anyone's children. That sounds like something poor people would believe." Oh the perfect classism. She described her career as "angry bar clown" which is a fun precis for comedian. 

Went to see Brian Posehn last week with Japan and Denmark at the casino comedy club. He and his opener were both fun, very Gen X evening. I remember BP from character actor work in sitcoms in the late 90s, early 00s. He can certainly tell a story. We missed out on Margaret Cho tickets, she sold out as well she should. I'm hoping to see Brian Simpson in a few weeks.    

May we all laugh more than we cry in the next month.

 

Dipping

From the late Barbara Tropp who departed too soon but left us with wonderful things to cook and taste: Spicy Szechwan Peanut Sauce. I haven't made it yet from this recipe but I approve of this blogger's adaptations to make the measurements more precise. We dipped raw veggies in it, carrots and zucchini were my favorite. This was my gateway to loving cilantro 30 years ago. I was raised by a parent who gets the soap taste and rigorously avoids all contact with cilantro. I expected the worst but was taken in completely by the strong unexpected flavor of these pungent ingredients.

And maybe you need a little pan bread today: Easy Yogurt Flatbread. I sometimes make up some yeast dough and cook it as pan bread. This is quick too. 

Pot of soup: Green Gumbo or Gumbo z'herbes. I hadn't heard about adding another leafy green for each new friend you want to find in the next year. More good food magic. 

At long last

A new entry. I can do it. I can arrange words on a page. I can use my body to do work and become stronger. I can make something I've never made before. 

Heard on KHFM back in November - Leilehua Lanzilotti, Forever forward in search of the beautiful. Brian Horton, tenor sax; Leilehua Lanzilotti, viola. That's an amazing use of those two instruments. Sometimes the prevalence of what I think of as weepy or squeaky violins in classical music puts me off. But the lower range of strings are so beautiful. This piece spends time in the ominous realm but it resolves with gentleness.  

I made a list in college or shortly thereafter of things that were good without significant side effects. It was part of becoming an adult and seeing the cost of it all. Only two things qualified for the list: potatoes and baking soda. Maybe I'll add: thrift stores, electric kettles. Can't remember something I thought of to add while recuperating from norovirus around Dec 13. 

Stomach flu kicked my ass and I didn't drink coffee for about 10 days after. It felt like winter was laying me low, even before the solstice arrived. Nod's currently all congested. The Danish was ill for two full weeks and is just now getting better. Right after xmas K tested pos for covid at urgent care and then had fever for a couple days. But after the fever left she never tested positive again. Our theory is that she had covid in Chicago before coming to NM and then maybe got flu here. One xmas dinner guest had fever and felt crappy for a few days after. No one else tested pos for covid. Shrug. 

We are invited to the heartland but I don't think we'll go in January. Dark and cold and so many germs to possibly bring. I'm going to discuss with MM today and make a plan for the future. Immediate gratification is not outweighing my other concerns for now. I think socially it'll be better for all four of us to get together when Nod can not resent winter the whole time. And D2 has the drama of the blood thing and feuding docs.     

My intentions are - To breathe deeply. Make art and spend time with people. More plants. Work back up to jogging.