Observation

58...

Halfsies
With the video meetings I have been getting to see myself on camera much more than previously. Of course there was an initial shock and I still prefer my imagined face which has fewer wrinkles or bags under my eyes. But the most distracting thing I've noticed lately is the asymmetry of my face. The left side seems to be doing everything expected of it. But the right side is a little droopy, both the corner of my mouth and my right eye. I've always had a bit of asymmetry in my smile (matching my mom) but this is more pronounced than I remember. I'm tempted to take a photo and then split it into the two halves and do mirroring to see the two distinct faces that would produce. But the rest of me doesn't want to loose any dopplegangers into the world. 

Worry
Covid math is my current anxiety magnet. Do we have my oldest daughter's boyfriend over to our turkey day meal? We're in contact with her - she visits unmasked one or more times a week. Sometimes we hug and spend time on the couch together. And she's in contact with him - spends time with him unmasked a couple times a week. So we're already in the germs network with him. Does it increase our collective risk of getting the virus to have him over unmasked? I don't think so. My goal is to have no one visit the hospital this winter.  [update: the boyfriend is booked with his family so we won't have him over. whew.]

Heat
Sweated through my pjs last night. Note to self, cotton only. That was a first. Plenty of hot flashes and disturbed sleep over the last month. I had a particularly rocky couple of weeks that ended with a few nights of sweet sweet sleep. Clearly I am on for the full crone ride. Onward to Hag Island!  

   Stashing recipe link: https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2013/02/hearty-winter-vegetable-soup-vegan-recipe.html  
Edited to add: This involved recipe for vegetable stock that then gets cooked into vegetable soup does not, unfortunately, transcend the description of 'vegetable soup'. I like other things better. 

Gah and Gah Again

71 days until January 20 is too many in my opinion. I suppose time will continue to pass for the just and the unjust alike. Last night I got really angry again reading about terrible people doing terrible things. I was sad to feel that outraged powerlessness returning. 

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Two tasty snacks from the UK found in today's Metafilter:

New word to me: gyratory in this post on the London neighborhood/ward Aldgate. (Diamond Geezer is a very pleasing handle. I'm adding this blog to my list.) From the photo placement in the article I wondered if it meant the public water pump, but no. It means roundabout and may indicate something else (higher number of lanes than just a regular roundabout?) but I haven't figured that out yet. The G is soft.  

Here's Medlife Crisis ranking all the human organs. According to him you could donate up to 70% of your liver and it would then regenerate. Not serious and yet informative!

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Am reading Jack by Robinson. I'm so glad they got out of the cemetery. If the entire book had been their conversation as they kept each other company through the night in the cemetery it would have bugged me a lot. I've been taking notes and I'm gathering that (duh) reading the other books in this series would give me more context to go on. Generational relationships and names and so on. So far I like Aunt Delia and Lorraine a lot for trying to protect Della. MR is really good at describing social give and take that starts with conventional exchanges and accidentally becomes more intimate. 

Eve

Evening before Halloween and the moon was 99.6% full. I decided that was plenty and got a kid and a spouse and went to watch it rise. We love the east-facing aluminum bleachers at the nearby middle school track/football field for sky watching. The moon was beautiful and pink and a little squashed looking as it came above the horizon. I felt so lucky to watch it rise through the twilight shaded sky with birds flying across. After the early snow on Monday the mild temp felt like a sweet gift. As it rose the moon became cream colored and perfectly round. 

I'm enjoying the last season of Schitt's Creek. I am doling out Great British Baking episodes too, I'm a week or two behind in the current season. I've finished The Bone People which was a wonderful mental vacation to New Zealand. About to jump into Jack now. 

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I'd like to see a fantasy version of the day before election day 2020. We see a succession of socially distanced, anxious people reading on their phones and weeping or cussing. Then Morpheus appears at the side of each one, they don't perceive him. He slowly waves a hand down in front of their eyes and they go instantly to sleep. He catches each one before they can fall and lays them in bed. Every stressed out, good-hearted person gets 10 hours of deep, restorative sleep.

I would enjoy watching that sequence. Infinite knows I would like to be able to gift wrap a box of sleep and give it to the deserving. 

After dropping off my absentee ballot I seem to have gotten off the anxiety treadmill. I am not feeling the dread and soul sickness. I still worry. My state probably won't elect the Dem senator that I want. But I feel this country making horking sounds as we prepare to vomit up this administration. Probably I'm just not capable of paying attention in that way any more. I've worn out the worry nerves and have to do something else now. 

May the folks of good will receive support and inspiration. I am too wary to write about what I really really want so I'll leave it there.