Wednesday, April 27, 2022

Freedom and the absence of pain

Just tried to catch our cat for a vet visit. Nope! I couldn't get him zipped into the canvas bag I've been giving him treats in. And I could not scoop him into a towel. I didn't even get scratched, he just leaped and leaped. I called the vet and cancelled. Guess we'll carry on without professional advice. Freddie lives free! (inside our house).

Last week I got a crown on a tooth with multiple fillings that has been on the dental roadmap for years. I'm glad I got it done before an emergency tooth crack. It's always been a bit sensitive so I hope this will take care of that too. But Damn! was it hard to get numb enough for the drilling. I got topical stuff, then the first shots from a senior hygienist. Then the dentist came in and I wasn't very numb so she gave me shots. Then she started drilling but I could feel pressure right away so - third set of shots. Then the drilling got going and was fine on one half of the tooth but on the other half I got a twinge. So - fourth set of shots. All was fine and dandy after that. I'm glad my dentist is willing and able to stop and start and give me enough dope to make it not hurt. They called me a good patient, although I am still waiting for my sticker. Happy to have a dentist I trust. 

We are plotting for a big move to NM next year. I am doing a little anticipatory grieving over losing functional relationships like dentist, doctors, etc. We will all four change health insurance providers for the first time in 18 years. That's enough to get my heart pounding.  

Youngest is graduating high school in just over a month. She and her dad will visit a university in a few weeks to see if it will suit. The university offers the program of study that she wants, which she originally found in Cardiff, Wales. Nod was able to find a few equivalent undergrad programs in the US. But the setting and the campus aren't inspiring her. I hope the visit will be persuasive. I don't want to be rid of her but I am excited for her to have new experiences. She told us that one of the hardest parts of pandemmie for her was that she was hardly ever alone. Can't argue with that. So I want to help her go forth from my house into a new adventure. Preferably on this continent. 

I finished John Darnielle's Wolf in White Van today. It makes me think of kids I knew in middle school, playing Asteroids in the 7-11, messing around. The book conveys threat and boredom and interiority very well. I didn't enjoy it but it went quickly and I am glad to have read it. That and Hazzard's The Transit of Venus were recommended by a friend. She may have more grown up tastes than I do. I started the Hazzard but haven't gotten very far. 


Thursday, April 14, 2022


Easter is designated in the Occidental Christian church as the Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox (March 21). Calendaring is complicated when you are working with the Julian, Gregorian and lunar years. This wikip page is full of the details - Date of Easter

I like the awkward harnessing of our calendar with the lunar one - love for Luna. The moon is full in two days, and I have a reminder to watch it rise.  

I bought a chocolate bar for each of us in the house on behalf of the Easter Bunny. I sent a small box to K and it might get to her by the weekend. 

The daffodils in our yard are just past their peak. Here is their sweetness a week ago:


Redbuds are indeed budding and will be gorgeous on Sunday. The midwest flower parade continues to bring the beauty.

I thought about revising my resume and starting the job hunt. And felt a familiar sick dread in my gut. I told Nod that I was not accepting this as the objective truth. I am trying out the idea that perhaps this could be a neutral experience, rather than a shame and fear experience. Not sure my gut is going to buy it but when I say it out loud it sounds pretty okay: an adult person with a lot of work experience will update their resume. And then this adult person will send that resume to several employers in response to job openings. I guess it could happen.