Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Tipped and returning

Talked on the phone with a friend on solstice, it was a nice reconnection. Actual solstice happened at 4am on the 21st here so we were already past the hinge when we woke up that day. Let's get through the dark weeks and move towards hope. 

Plague Christmas was better than I expected. We feasted and played games and enjoyed our toys. I continue to appreciate not having to travel at holiday time.  

Rain and sleet today means inside feels like the right place to be. I'm grateful that we're getting any sort of precipitation. December has been very mild and we're in drought conditions here. 

Oldest daughter is packing up and getting ready to say good bye to her housemates. We'll be driving her to Evanston to move into her dorm room next week. 

She's had one more housemate-related brush with Covid. We're all waiting to hear the results from the housemate's test tomorrow. K will get tested this weekend and we'll hope we have the timing right and Of Course hope that it's not needed. Such a lot of moving parts, this human society, it reminds me of the early computer game Life. I try to be conservative and stay home but all our interactions carry a bit of risk and I'm starting to cross my fingers more often.   

Just finished The Sealed Letter by Donoghue. I had thought it was about a love affair but it is instead a historical novel based on a London divorce case in the 1860s. A bunch of non-heroic characters, very good. I was concerned that my sympathy for one of our narrators was going to be terribly abused by the ending. Luckily not. My favorite character is said to have lived to be fat and happy into their 90s. Huzzah!    

Time to get working on my book club book: Against the Grain nf. I've read 2 chapters but am finding it much drier than my enthusiastic friend's retelling. I wish we could just get beers and have him bring up his fave ideas.  


Monday, December 7, 2020

Still counting down

I am not much for new year's but I do like seeing the progress of this countdown.

It could happen to any of us
Discovering that a picture of you as a child has been used as a meme for years. The meme-ing itself is not nearly as funny to me as this man's a) picture as a child before othodontia work and b) deadpan reaction to the discovery. I laughed until I sobbed. I hope you find something to make you laugh that hard. It was a release. 

Season's pop greetings
My favorite way to enjoy Mariah's timeless holiday paean is this surprisingly adorable video from the wild wild chatroulette days: Yay beardy!

I am wrassling with my reptile brain. (A new imaginary form of gator wrasslin'!) It says that it is dark at 5pm and so I should sit on the couch and eat all the things. But as much as I like couch+snacks I don't find much satisfaction in that. I am trying to get outside in the middle of the day (I missed today - whoops) and also do the exercising thing when I can bear to. My physical body needs to get out of this house and move the large muscles and if that doesn't happen I start feeling like Everything is Stupid. I am making an effort to remember that the light is longer by the end of January. I can find a path through the next dark weeks.

I recommend Jackie Kashian's stand up. But in addition she is a podcast powerhouse who has been producing the Dork Forest episodes for a long time. She interviews others (usually comics, sometimes family members, occasionally actual experts) about their enthusiasms, the things they get excited about. Here's the homepage The Dork Forest with the latest eps on top. I haven't even heard most of these, need to cue them up for my reluctant exercise sessions. Jackie is notably ignorant about pop music (of any era) and many other topics which makes her the ideal blank canvas for others to inform about their  fave areas of expertise.  


Tuesday, November 24, 2020



With the video meetings I have been getting to see myself on camera much more than previously. Of course there was an initial shock and I still prefer my imagined face which has fewer wrinkles or bags under my eyes. But the most distracting thing I've noticed lately is the asymmetry of my face. The left side seems to be doing everything expected of it. But the right side is a little droopy, both the corner of my mouth and my right eye. I've always had a bit of asymmetry in my smile (matching my mom) but this is more pronounced than I remember. I'm tempted to take a photo and then split it into the two halves and do mirroring to see the two distinct faces that would produce. But the rest of me doesn't want to loose any dopplegangers into the world. 

Covid math is my current anxiety magnet. Do we have my oldest daughter's boyfriend over to our turkey day meal? We're in contact with her - she visits unmasked one or more times a week. Sometimes we hug and spend time on the couch together. And she's in contact with him - spends time with him unmasked a couple times a week. So we're already in the germs network with him. Does it increase our collective risk of getting the virus to have him over unmasked? I don't think so. My goal is to have no one visit the hospital this winter.  [update: the boyfriend is booked with his family so we won't have him over. whew.]

Sweated through my pjs last night. Note to self, cotton only. That was a first. Plenty of hot flashes and disturbed sleep over the last month. I had a particularly rocky couple of weeks that ended with a few nights of sweet sweet sleep. Clearly I am on for the full crone ride. Onward to Hag Island!  

   Stashing recipe link: https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2013/02/hearty-winter-vegetable-soup-vegan-recipe.html  
Edited to add: This involved recipe for vegetable stock that then gets cooked into vegetable soup does not, unfortunately, transcend the description of 'vegetable soup'. I like other things better. 

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Gah and Gah Again

71 days until January 20 is too many in my opinion. I suppose time will continue to pass for the just and the unjust alike. Last night I got really angry again reading about terrible people doing terrible things. I was sad to feel that outraged powerlessness returning. 


Two tasty snacks from the UK found in today's Metafilter:

New word to me: gyratory in this post on the London neighborhood/ward Aldgate. (Diamond Geezer is a very pleasing handle. I'm adding this blog to my list.) From the photo placement in the article I wondered if it meant the public water pump, but no. It means roundabout and may indicate something else (higher number of lanes than just a regular roundabout?) but I haven't figured that out yet. The G is soft.  

Here's Medlife Crisis ranking all the human organs. According to him you could donate up to 70% of your liver and it would then regenerate. Not serious and yet informative!


Am reading Jack by Robinson. I'm so glad they got out of the cemetery. If the entire book had been their conversation as they kept each other company through the night in the cemetery it would have bugged me a lot. I've been taking notes and I'm gathering that (duh) reading the other books in this series would give me more context to go on. Generational relationships and names and so on. So far I like Aunt Delia and Lorraine a lot for trying to protect Della. MR is really good at describing social give and take that starts with conventional exchanges and accidentally becomes more intimate. 

Monday, November 2, 2020


Evening before Halloween and the moon was 99.6% full. I decided that was plenty and got a kid and a spouse and went to watch it rise. We love the east-facing aluminum bleachers at the nearby middle school track/football field for sky watching. The moon was beautiful and pink and a little squashed looking as it came above the horizon. I felt so lucky to watch it rise through the twilight shaded sky with birds flying across. After the early snow on Monday the mild temp felt like a sweet gift. As it rose the moon became cream colored and perfectly round. 

I'm enjoying the last season of Schitt's Creek. I am doling out Great British Baking episodes too, I'm a week or two behind in the current season. I've finished The Bone People which was a wonderful mental vacation to New Zealand. About to jump into Jack now. 


I'd like to see a fantasy version of the day before election day 2020. We see a succession of socially distanced, anxious people reading on their phones and weeping or cussing. Then Morpheus appears at the side of each one, they don't perceive him. He slowly waves a hand down in front of their eyes and they go instantly to sleep. He catches each one before they can fall and lays them in bed. Every stressed out, good-hearted person gets 10 hours of deep, restorative sleep.

I would enjoy watching that sequence. Infinite knows I would like to be able to gift wrap a box of sleep and give it to the deserving. 

After dropping off my absentee ballot I seem to have gotten off the anxiety treadmill. I am not feeling the dread and soul sickness. I still worry. My state probably won't elect the Dem senator that I want. But I feel this country making horking sounds as we prepare to vomit up this administration. Probably I'm just not capable of paying attention in that way any more. I've worn out the worry nerves and have to do something else now. 

May the folks of good will receive support and inspiration. I am too wary to write about what I really really want so I'll leave it there. 

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Tip It Now


Chilly and misty today and October stretches out on the couch. I hope children will come pick up the individually baggied candy on the 31st. I am going to rig up a table and a flashlight by the sidewalk for them and watch from my stoop. Gotta get some pumpkins. The squirrels will savage them so we can't get them too early. I have put out some black sunflower seeds for the jays and squirrels on our back deck. The bluejays keep trying the feeder but they are just too hefty to land on its petite edges. 


I like to save my pleasures and dole them out so they'll last a long time. Currently watching the Brits bake every Friday and I think we're a week or so behind the releases. The last season of Schitt's Creek is also a weekend treat. I'm trying to get my workouts in to help me sleep, build that immune system and help me expend just a few calories. 

After hitting the boredom wall last weekend I dragged out my knitting project sweater from 3(?) years ago. I previously completed the front and back along with the dreaded neckline. Now I have succeeded in starting one sleeve. I'm looking forward to embroidering two big arrows on the front. So chic, right? It's a giant acrylic rectangular sweater that I plan to wear this winter. It has approximately 50 yarn ends - so far - that I will have to weave in. That may be the steepest barrier to finishing. Oh or possibly running out of yarn, but I hope not. I recommend the Song Exploder (podcast turned Netflix series) for listening while knitting. 


I dropped my ballot off this morning at the courthouse. As a voter I am a super predictable member of my class/education/age cohort and liberal university town. Hope actually seems possible now and I've lost the background nausea about my country that I was feeling over the summer. The worry and fury are still there but there seems a glimmer for the future. 

I leave you with the words of tired, witchy, bitchy ContraPoints as she argues about the importance of voting with the communist cat girl in her brain. She deftly describes our current reality from far left to far right and back again. And ends with the dull but necessary plan-to-vote instructions applicable to all of us USers. 

 I hope she stumbles upon some hope and joy soon. That goes for everybody. Upswing for all.    

Thursday, October 8, 2020

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day

 Y'all! It's past the first week of October! Time is moving it's just hard to observe it. Do the thing that helps you get through whether it be work, exercise, indulgence, or holding a comfort toothpick.   

Kangaroo rat being fitted with a tracking 'backpack'

Thursday, October 1, 2020

Watching and Listening

Eyes 1
Enola Holmes - a fancy picture book that kept me entertained. What a cast! The writing is a little simplistic but at the same time it creates an interesting world that never was. The male 'young love' character is a gratifying gender swap of many girl roles of yore. The determination of almost all adults to allow EH to roam the city seemed rash. Fiona Shaw is wasted as a flat villain but I'll forgive it for her initial motorcar appearance. 

Eyes 2
Michelle Buteau's stand up on nflx gets my enthusiastic guffawing recommendation. 

Ears 1
I've been grabbing CDs from the Jazz section in my library. I find the genre funny in that it contains both of these good listens:

Ranky Tanky. Band info "This Grammy Award winning, Charleston, SC-based quintet, performs timeless music born from the Gullah culture of the southeastern Sea Islands." The music has a lot of folk and gospel but also excellent musicians who get solos so I guess that's the jazz part. Album info. I've been singing That's Alright since hearing this. 

House of David by Lea DeLaria. I did not know what this was and listening to it cold was hilarious. I had to think about whether I liked it and decided that mostly I do. The arrangements are very well thought out. LDL sounds more feminine than I expected (which is all on me). 

Ears 2
Old 97s appear in tomorrow's 10/02/20 offering at Bandcamp: Good Music to Avert the Collapse of American Democracy, Volume 2. I scanned through the artists and found Mexican Institute of Sound and now I am in love. Song is great, content warning about violence in the video: Mexico. More great sounds: Alocatel. More info on the CD fundraiser:

The collection will be available for 24 hours only, exclusively via Bandcamp, this Friday, October 2nd starting at 12:01am PT.

100% of the net proceeds from the album’s sales will go to Voting Rights Lab, a nonpartisan 501(c)(3) organization that brings state advocacy, policy, and legislative expertise to secure, protect, and defend the voting rights of all Americans. 

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Away and Back Again

Time off
 Took two days off from work making for a 4 day weekend. It was not a vacation:

  • no travel
  • no meetup or hookup

but it was a vacation:

  • no thinking about doing any work related activities
  • actual refreshment happened. 
I remembered two dreams (imminent baby adoption; taking an essay test with the question "What is limited in fairy tales and how do those limitations function in the story?" to which I had like 4 examples in the dream that I wish I could remember). I took a nap one day. I did errandy and appointment things in the middle of the day. I cooked. 

Aw, fudge
Catherine Newman rules and so do her kids. Her Insta (I try to care about reading people there, but I don't) and almost defunct blog (nostalgic sighs). There's a penuche fudge recipe at the blog if you need one. 

Imposing order
My college fresher completed her online orientation and her job training week. She started classes this morning. Two days as a teller so far. I'm quite proud of her. It's a lot and I hope she can do it all. 
Our world news is upsetting these days. I filter vigorously to be able to keep a fairly even keel. I am in favor of the exposure of ghastly deeds rather than their cover up but I can't be a witness every day. Infinite bless the journalists and stubborn truth tellers. I want to be further into the future now but one day at a time is the only option I've been given. 

Friday, September 11, 2020


Puppet show
My UK based friend recommended The Windsors on nflx and I am sharing on this vital info. It is a super silly soap opera spun out of the current British royals. My favorites are Beatrice and Eugenie but they all make me laugh. It's very exaggerated and the drawling gets me every time. The way Charles says 'America'! (Closest I can get is Ah-merri-kay but you have to say it while also pulling your lips back from your teeth as though you were a Nick Park claymation character.) It's the same sort of thing as the SoCal drawl they did in The Californians soap sketches on SNL. That kills me too and yet it leaves my spouse unmoved so your mileage may vary.  

Someone tweeted recently that they keep a list of dumb things that make them laugh and I support this practice wholeheartedly. 

Some time after we moved to this house (a year and 2 months ago - yay!) we noticed a squirrel with just one inch of tail. It was in the company of other young squirrels and we started calling it Stumpy as it was so visually distinct. I'm happy to report that Stumpy is still around, busy doing squirrel business. Long may they scamper.

Chickens, roosting
This week I am seeing many references to the fossil fuels industry promoting the (mostly) myth of plastics recycling. It was seen as a way to promote plastic use without needing to follow through. I'm reminded of many 70s era speculative fiction stories about humanity choking itself in trash and air pollution. There was some pull back from those (literally) dark days. We mostly got rid of CFCs and made some air and a bunch of waterways much cleaner. And it's time to do it again. I hope there's a will. The scorching of the entire left side of the country seems like it would be a motivator.  

Getting overwhelmed is easy these days. Compassion-fatigue, outrage-fatigue, even just attention-fatigue is wearing at us. Time to look for the next right thing, the next necessary thing. 

Thursday, August 27, 2020

I hear there's a hurricane or two

 <hair blown back, face blank>


We are past the middle of the first week of classes. Today's call volume has slowed a lot. And that's good because there isn't much brain left up in here. 

 I haven't kept up much news-wise. It sounds as though real bad things continue to happen and I'm going to try not to inquire too deeply unless it's local. At least for a few more days. 

Looks like our stretch of hot dry days is going to end on Sunday evening. I have been trying to remember to water things. My caterpillar children have gone off to seek their fortunes. My entomologist friend says that they weren't necessarily eaten by birds (my first theory) but may have moved to a different spot to cocoon. Bless the little critters. 

Oldest has spent a week in her new place and it's starting to feel like the new normal. Youngest is working on moving furniture over into the larger bedroom. I think the bed goes today. And then I get to move some of my stuff into the (spare!) closet. Such anticipation.

Local covid cases have gone up statewide and several of the fraternity/sorority houses are in quarantine right now. Long sigh. So glad my kids are doing remote school but then again, so wishing we could all go out and socialize. Dull achey feeling about that. 

Be kind as you can. Protect the vulnerable. Recognize the humanity in those you interact with. It's not much but it's what I've got. 


Friday, August 14, 2020

Smoke 'em if you got 'em

I'm surprised by a little dip in the work requests today. We were hopping last week but this week must be the calm before the storm. I will remember to breathe and take care of administrivia and so on. 

I'm reading The Library Book for my next book club meeting and it's just as good as I had hoped. I thought I had read one of Susan Orlean's nf books before but now I don't think so. I think I just know her from New Yorker articles. It's sort of a comfort read but also, like so much else, a melancholy reminder of the lost world we all lived in as recently as the beginning of this year. 

I have just ordered the other book group's book The Old Man and Me by Dundy. But got email from the bookstore that it's back-ordered and may be weeks. So I will check in with that gang soon to see if they have it and still want to meet on time. I haven't read The Dud Avocado and it's been on my list for a long time. The library has that one so maybe I'll substitute while waiting. 

Intrigued to hear about the Tom Holland flick coming to nflx. Will probably watch the second season of Umbrellas. Having a good time revisiting Scrubs. 

Things picked up before lunch so I don't think we'll have a sleepy afternoon.  

Tuesday, July 28, 2020


Hearing a siren go past. I noticed because it's been a while since I've heard one. Things are always quiet in our college town at this time of the year. Lay some pandemic on top of that and things are s l e e p y. It's the heat and humidity chapter of the summer and even though I want to go outside sometimes, I rarely want to stay outside.

I've been doing some planks and exercises and it's good to have a physical thing to do after leaving my desk every day. Wish I could add some jogging on that but I haven't figured it out yet. Maybe late next month.

I have some sinus pressure and have felt like my right ear was blocked for about three days now. It sometimes makes me feel a little dizzy. Then that fades and I feel fine, just congested. I can still breathe through my nostrils but the other head spaces are affected. I am hoping that some guanefesin will help. Neti pot is another option but I fear it. I don't have any other, more exciting, symptoms and no one else in the fam has it.

Old Guard was a fine video comic book if you don't mind the high body count. I'll always watch C Theron and didn't mind. The team's special power made the fight sequences quite different, that must have been fun to storyboard. Another cast member is Matthias Schoenarts who I just saw in something completely different on the nflx: A Little Chaos. I really enjoyd MS's performance and it is a calm and lovely confection. I have some quibbles but am v. glad I watched it. It must have been Rickman's last film before he died in 2016. imdb confirms that he had a few voice roles after but nothing else. And it stars Kate Winslet! Why hadn't I ever heard of this film?! Now I must watch the first film Rickman directed in '97: The Winter Guest starring Emma Thompson (💝) and her mother Phyllida Law.

Some work stuff is waiting for me and I'm going to go take another run at it. What a world. I'm glad my expertise is in demand. I will hope for a good outcome as we approach the fall semester. 


Wednesday, July 8, 2020


Went to a restaurant Monday to meet my peripatetic brother and his partner. We stayed out on the patio which was hot but shaded. I'm surprised at how long they were willing to visit with me there considering the temp and humidity. It was really good to see them. I still have free floating socializing virus anxiety because I don't have a way to control all the factors and still see people. This is a problem and I know I have lots of company - my feeble monkey brain is not equipped for these types of decisions. 

OD (oldest daughter) was at a protest last Friday night in the big city. She got tested for Covid today just in case. She's weighing whether she wants to attend her first freshman quarters on-campus in a single-occupancy room or do remote classes. I don't think I want YD to attend high school in person this fall. But am worried about her social network needs. There sure won't be any group singing this fall and that is super sad. 

Graduation party happening in a friend's backyard on Saturday for the kids' friends to come and go. I have a list of things to do: get a guest book, drinks, assemble a photo for each of K's 18 years and get it printed as a poster (that's do-able, right?!). 

I am resisting the impulse to correct sloppy writing in the last post. It is probably indicative of my mental state and can stay that way. Yesterday was a doom and dread day. I always hope those moods are caused by hormones/weather because they're hard to shift. It felt like I was behind on everything in all aspects of my life and there was no way to get a good outcome. Today is better. 

Learned that the wasp I killed yesterday was probably a great black wasp and I should have let it go on its pollen and grasshopper eating ways. It was the largest insect I've encountered in a while and I was horrified to see it bumping the light bulb directly overhead while I was cleaning the cat pan. After making many undignified sounds I squashed it. I hope the next one I see is outdoors and if so I pledge not to kill it.  

I mowed the backyard on Sunday and noticed teeny grasshopper nymphs for the first time. They aren't around in the spring but come later in their very definite developmental waves. 

Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Mucho maintenance

During June I got my teeth cleaned, my vision checked (ordered new glasses) and am going for a mammogram today. Deferred maintenance is getting addressed. I feel like I should go ahead while I can do it. It is possible that our town could lock down in the near future. Mandatory mask order starts tomorrow. I hope there aren't any scuffles about it, that is so undignified. Not to mention selfish and cruel. 

Thoughts in ears
Just listened to two Gimlet podcasts. One uncomfortable one about U.S. white people sending unsolicited small amounts of money (via venmo or paypal) to black people recently: The Least You Could Do. I went in thinking that was a harmless minor form of reparations but have decided to take all the speakers' discomfort into account. Guess the guilty white money should be sent to non profits as is traditional. The second podcast is about the role of exercise in health. It has convincing info about the cancer- and dementia-fighting aspects of regular exercise. 

Work remains
That said, I failed to do any more exercise after my previous post. Last week included a little light insomnia and I realized that I need to commit to at least leaving the house for a walk every day. I don't handle losing sleep well and may as well prevent it if I can. I may need to create a new secret project to get my brain engaged. Or maybe give a pep talk to my beautiful natural killer cells while I'm exercising, like the researcher included in that podcast.

Love stories
Finished Fleabag season two and had many feelings. I deeply enjoyed the metafilter discussion of this season immensely. So good to soak up some fellow fan reactions even though I did not enjoy it when it first came out. I had initially thought that there might be future seasons. But after watching the final episode I dearly hope not. It was a beautiful ending.   

The Expanse, a.k.a. Space, is still giving good tv. But I hate the 'Bobbie on the wrong side of the law' storyline. And I think Holden's action on Ilus was stupid and provocative after the experience of the Ring. There was one episode where I cordially hated all of them for a bit.   

I am uncool and very looking forward to watching Hamilton on the Mouse channel on July 4. 

Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Nod to solstice

We have been enjoying low 90s and fairly dry which is A plus June weather in Kansas. Even had breezes yesterday and today. We've been making our weekly quota of lake swimming while avoiding most other lake goers. Peaches and strawberries have been good. Social distanced socializing still kinda sucks but it's better than nothing.

Plant happiness
Peapods, sunflower, cornflowers, mint in a pot.

Sewing project
I took apart a pair of drawstring pj pants that I had worn holes in. They were very simple and my favorite, thus the holes. I used a sheet that had a hole in the middle to cut out pieces. After teaching myself to use the sewing machine again I ran up some seams. Then I laughed and cackled because I had created one big tube instead of two legs. After ripping back and trying again I achieved the correct number of legs! A 200 percent improvement! It was so much fun and the perfect project since I didn't need to end up with a garment that would be seen by humans outside my house. I finished them and wore them to bed. Pajama triumph!

Physical maintenance minutia
Exercising outdoors in the heat of summer requires    effort. I want to do it first thing in the morning when I wake up since the temperature is best then. The other option would be to wait for sundown. That's quite late right now and I would rather not exercise at night. So Tuesday I went out first thing before breakfast. It was fine, the air was fairly cool and only two other people were on the track. I didn't love it and I didn't feel great even after eating some cereal. I don't know if it's a blood sugar thing or if it was just a crummy day. I'm going to try again tomorrow morning. Maybe I can do this two working days a week. Two sounds better then three at this point. I may need to prep breakfast the night before which seems like a terrible burden.

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Keep it small, keep it gentle

I'm going to give blood today and that's the most cheerful thing I have had on my calendar in a long time.

There are bees at the Lazy Evaluation Ranch and I am so happy to share in the beekeeping joy. Nod and I walked through a clover field brimming with blossoms last week. I had not known before that you could smell clover flowers when there are enough of them. Deeelightful.

I'm mostly keeping away from news until I feel stronger. I did a short guided metta meditation last night that was humble and exactly what I needed. Thank you, Sharon Salzberg.   

Friday, May 22, 2020

Crank up those Brits

I can't resist, they have my number. I love to listen to those smart and snarky Brits tell me about ...whatever they want to.

Comedy nerds talking about stuff I've mostly never heard of: https://play.acast.com/s/ruleofthree . I started following Matt Lucas (Little Britain) on twitter and listening to all the different versions of Thank You, Baked Potato. That is my quarantine anthem. He was interviewed on Rule of Three and I followed those breadcrumbs. The two-parter with Eddie Izzard is my kind of ear candy (link to Part I). The thought that there is an underground UK cult love of Third Rock From the Sun amuses me greatly.

Travel Man is Richard Ayodade taking quick trips to various world destinations. On beyond Finnish salty licorice he offers us some lovely sights for the eye and some hacky tourist facts and plenty of odd enthusiasm. He's allergic to horses which made the carriage ride in Vienna very uncomfortable! Chris O'Dowd is his companion for that trip, a mini IT Crowd reunion.

Charlie Booker recaps the pandemic from the UK perspective. It's long, 44 minutes, in a good way. I laughed a lot while watching it this morning in my solo office.

The Expanse on prime is not British but hooked me anyway. Canadian Syfy series with excellent actors mostly new to me. I get the feeling that there's a significant percentage of Canada's drama jobs devoted to space opera. Bless. The Danish gets the hat tip for that one too. Nod and I are basically counting the minutes til the next episode.

The semester wraps today for my job. Next fiscal year, which starts July 1, the university expects to lose at least a quarter of its current operating budget. Into the Unknown indeed. Oldest finished her last two AP tests today and is truly done with high school.

Peonies opened triumphantly for my birthday. Dark red, white with yellow centers (fried eggs), double pinks and pale pinks. I really enjoyed watching them. Too bad that one clump is right by our bins, we don't have another good place for them. I looked up transplanting peonies and I don't think I will try that. I'll just crop out the garbage cans from the photos. Nod's spinach and peas are doing well. He also strung a clothesline between our two sheds. He's got quite a to do list and I'm enjoying the results.

Friday, May 8, 2020

Ears and eyes

I've found a podcast and am happily swimming through the past episodes. Somehow I missed John Moe's The Hilarious World of Depression, interviews with comedians (and others) who have depression. Lots of my faves here with Peter Sagal, Maria Bamford and Rhett Miller who even wrote the theme song. <3 div="">
I'm not able to listen to NPR without my blood pressure spiking or yelling epithets at sound bites from the GOP. So I have been looking for other things to let my ears/brain enjoy while I'm doing manual tasks. I still am working my way through the MBMBAM back catalog. I'm in 2011 episodes right now and don't expect to get current... well, at all. Part of the appeal is listening to these goofballs riffing from so long ago. 

I'm also giving jazz a try. Jazz will definitely be flattered by my attention. I like a nice piano and brushes number like Grant Green's Idle Moments - ooh there's even some vibraphone action in this one. One of the CDs I checked out from the library right before it shut down was a Lester Young album. The upbeat numbers are good for washing and dressing. But the slow ones just make me want to lie down and watch a thin thread of cigarette smoke rise to the ceiling.  

Yesterday I found the yutub channel ContraPoints and I may never recover. Philosophy studies, beauty aesthetic, characters and more. Ominous, smart to 11, funny with sharp edges, sexy, this woman has it going on. I couldn't follow everything I was hearing in the first episode I watched, but that just made me want more. Interview here with context for why she makes anti fascist videos look so good. I have fallen under a spell.    

Monday, May 4, 2020

Writing, songs and bread

Meta filter post with links to online archive projects anyone can participate in. Lots of opportunities to transcribe cursive writing.

From the live-pandemic-remote-from-home-fundraiser performances for Sondheim's 90th birthday my favorite performance was Melissa Errico's 'Children and Art' from Sunday in the Park with George. So quiet and sweet and entirely assured. It's at about 40 min. in the full show. Here's a cabaret recording.

Next is Aaron Tveit's 'Marry Me a Little' from Company.

NYT review of the event.

Bread, man
I just made another no-knead loaf but this time I used a bare bones recipe: 3 cups flour, 1.75 t salt, .5 t yeast, 1.5 cups water. Mix and let rise 12-18 hours. Tuck in a ball, bake in hot iron pot at 450, covered for 30 min, uncovered for 15. I liked that it uses much less yeast than my normal recipe. But the dough was so wet and gloopy this morning. I had to mix in a bunch more flour and still kind of poured it into the parchment paper lined pot. It baked up fine but I will have to do some more experimentation. 

Renee's Oatmeal Bread
Savoury bread made w porridge oats (just oatmeal for my American friends) when you run out of flour. I added raisins this time but you can leave them out.

400g oats (Little less than 4 1/2cups)
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
500g plain yogurt (2cups)
50 ml milk or water (1/4 cup)
2 Tablespoons mixed seeds

For reference, here are ingredients and technique from  https://www.thebreadshebakes.com/2016/06/best-oat-bread-recipes/
100% Oat Bread

4 cups porridge oats
1/2 tsp bicarb of soda
1 cup walnuts crushed
1 egg beaten
1/2  cup milk
1/4 cup water
500 g natural yoghurt

In a large bowl, combine the porridge oats with the bicarb of soda and mix
Add the crushed walnuts and mix further
In a separate bowl, combine the beaten egg, milk, water and natural yoghurt and whisk together
Combine the dry with the wet ingredients
Place in a baking tin
Bake at 375° for about an hour
Cool on a wire rack

And in my search I found this which I want to eat right now. Not sure I'll get around to baking it but it's not impossible.  https://www.kingarthurflour.com/recipes/heart-of-winter-loaf-recipe


1 1/2 cups (177g) King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
1 1/2 cups (170g) King Arthur Premium 100% Whole Wheat Flour
3/4 cup (71g) oat flour or ground oatmeal
1/3 cup (32g) golden flax meal*
1/4 cup (35g) Baker's Special Dry Milk
2 tablespoons (25g) sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons instant yeast
1 3/4 cups (397g) lukewarm water
*Or substitute 1/3 cup additional whole wheat flour + 2 tablespoons vegetable oil.


1 large egg white, lightly beaten
Artisan Bread Topping, or the seeds of your choice

Combine all of the dough ingredients, mixing and kneading to form a smooth, sticky dough.

Cover the dough, and let it rise for about an hour; it should become puffy.

Divide the dough in half, and shape each half into a 10" oval loaf. Place the loaves on a lightly greased or parchment-lined baking sheet.

Cover the pan, and allow the loaves to rise for about 90 minutes, or until they've increased in size by about one-third.

Just before baking, brush with a lightly beaten egg white, then sprinkle with seeds. Slash each loaf diagonally three times.

Bake the loaves in a preheated 400°F oven for 25 to 30 minutes, or until the interior registers 200°F on an instant-read thermometer.

Remove the bread from the oven, and transfer it to a rack to cool. Store fully cooled bread at room temperature, well-wrapped, for several days; freeze for longer storage.

Tuesday, April 28, 2020


Time off
My working-from-home saga began on March 18. I took my first time off the afternoon of 4/21. I had a sore throat and ear ache and felt sad and low energy. Napping, soup and an early bedtime was a good use of my time. I felt better  the next day if not all the way to shiny. Weird to take sick leave (at home) from my job (working at home).

Surges past
I read this on twitter: 'in 1918 the second wave of the Spanish Flu reportedly killed 20-50 million. The first wave only killed 3-5 million' and wondered about the accuracy and the cause and effect. This page gave me more on the initial emergence of the illness in the spring and then the hammer down wave in the fall of 1918. It helped to have a war and troops traveling internationally. There's still a lot that we don't know about that disease. Viruses are so small they could not be perceived before the 1930s when a microscope powerful enough was developed. This CDC page has a nice graphic on the three waves - there was a third spike in late winter/early spring before the disease went away. More history links on the left menu of the CDC page.

Predicting the future
We are trying to help our oldest daughter decide between a college in Chicago and one in Los Angeles. She is an absolute hard-working star and is able to choose between two excellent scholarships to quality schools. My priorities are my own and I'm trying not to play devil's advocate at her too much. I think she's leaning toward Chicago which pleases my parental radius of control - we could drive out and go get her in less than a day if needed. But the school in LA is offering a January start which seems more reasonable to me than having to 'attend' remote 'classes' in the fall. Fall in-person classes would be a risk to the faculty and staff as well as students. In my opinion the state of CA has its shit together more than IL (healthcare, public welfare). 

I decided that I like referring to the divine as the Infinite. I use 'gods' sometimes but can't say that I am drawn to polytheism transactions - what a lot of work keeping track of who needs supplication now! I can't warm up to the Void and thinking of the Universe has worked for me in the past but it conjures a star field image for me in a distracting way. The word 'infinite' sidesteps my brain's picture-generating labeler and leaves me contemplative. The Infinite accepts my love and allows me to believe that it loves me back. 

Tuesday, April 21, 2020


Salty licorice supplies. A Metafilter thread on edible alkali metals besides NaCl included a link to this clip from Travel Man: Richard Ayoade and Paul Rudd "enjoy" some Finnish salty licorice. Now I'm safely enjoying these descriptions from Scandinavian Kitchen of their top ten salty licorice varieties. I learned to like sweet black licorice as an adult (this is my fave) after only eating red licorice as a kid. I suppose it's not impossible I could learn to like salty licorice. But so far I can't think of a plausible chain of events that would cause that to happen.

After feeling absurdly healthy for a month in quarantine I have tender neck nodes and a sore throat and feel very sorry for myself. Wondering what the vector was. Restaurant food? Daughter's boyfriend? Husband's clients? I think I'll take this afternoon off to rest. Weird to contemplate taking sick leave (in my house) from work (in my house).

The Danish sailed in with a couple of winner recommendations for us on nflx. Feel Good is my kind of lesbian/standup/ addiction romcom. It's also short - episodes about 25 min. The Stranger keeps making me say 'that was improbable' but I still want to see what happens and spouse is totally hooked. 

I finished a book that I started during quarantine! It took an effort of will but it helped that it was Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson. Sunday morning was quiet and peaceful and a perfect time to listen to the rain and cruise through the end. I was surprised by the outcome and just as moved and won over by the language as all the reviews said I would be.

Local bookstore staff dropped off My Sister The Serial Killer on my doorstep yesterday. Yay!!! I thought it would have to be shipped and take a week but they must have had it in the store. Their website https://www.ravenbookstore.com/ is creaky but they are extremely good eggs and can hook you up!

Thursday, April 9, 2020

Generosity of Others

Other bloggers are giving of their time and talents while I faff about. Here are a couple of foodies:

See Erica's excellent recipe for Triple Shot Espresso (not really a recipe, nor shots, nor espresso)

Belly up to Catherine Newman's post that has info on games and taking care of college students and a recipe for curried chickpeas.

We're well and stressed in spots and wondering about when we can get out of this phase. April 25 is the predicted local peak. But I think distancing is helping here and elsewhere. So maybe that makes it later and lesser. Let's hope. Although later til when?

Work is weird and was busy and then not and then picked up again. Our management structure is changing which is a bland way to say that one manager is out and one has had the number of teams they oversee reduced. My team thinks we're needed but don't want to be flung too far out of our accustomed rounds.

Our japanese maple in the back has its new red leaves out and I am determined to prune back all the shrubby stuff that is crowding it. I have visions of laying a blanket down underneath it next fall and watching the sky through the red leaves.

Wednesday, April 1, 2020


I was going to add it to the last one but this really deserves its own entry so I can find it again. Bonanza Buster Keaton thread at metafilter. I watched two clips this morning and then cut myself off so I could work. One was the railroad tie tiddly winks! The other a clip from The Blacksmith that I'd never heard of before. I lol'd!

Much more to look at including a 1980s documentary in 3 parts on yewtoob:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Out in a little boat

Dandelions are out in force, I even saw a bee on one. Our cool rainy spell is over and the midwest spring flower parade is on. It's fun to see what blooms in this neighborhood. I'm pleased that I got some of the ivy cut back on the east side plum tree. It's blossoming now. I will go after the remaining ivy with a clear conscience. In the neighbor's yard it festoons shrubs and trees. I was trying to get some grocery store mint scraps to root in water on the windowsill. It put out a cheerful bunch of leaves but no roots that I could see. I've plunked it into some dirt and hope I can get it to grow.

Proved that I can make both Awesome Sauce (2Ts each miso/tahini/rice vinegar, 1T each grated ginger root/honey, one small squashed clove garlic) and the bowl ingredients (quinoa, parboiled broccoli and microwaved sweet potato) and eat a generous serving during a one hour lunch break. But I'm going to make some more ahead of time so I can do more leisurely lunching and less scrambling in the future. K and I enjoyed our vegan bounty. She had vegetarian Pho from our local Thai place last night. She asked me if it was vegan and I said I had a hard time believing they didn't use chicken broth. We agreed that it would be really hard to ask the restaurant if their vegetarian Pho was vegan without being taken for persnicketty wypipo. We'll live with the mystery.

Entertainment Listening
Samin Nosrat is doing a podcast! With Hrishikesh Hirway who is new to me. Here's ep 1 with plenty of Beans.

Entertainment Watching
Where'd You Go, Bernadette? with Cate Blanchette, Billy Crudup and lots of other good actors. I watched it last weekend and liked it a lot. I mostly loved the book. The husband is more sympathetically drawn in the film. Hm, BC is still very pretty. Actually everyone is adorable in the film, probably too far in the likable direction. I think Bernadette should have been even weirder before her break. I cried at the Antarctic ice panoramas. Wow, now I'm looking at the critical consensus which is that it was a missed opportunity. I do not regret those two hours.   

As an example of the pointy elbows of Maria Semple's book that did not make it into the movie, here's a quote that made NPR-loving me laugh: 
“The war in Congo rages on with no end in sight,” the announcer said. “And now comes word of a new campaign by the soldiers, to find the women they have already raped and re-rape them.” “Holy Christ on a cross!” Mom said. “I draw the line at re-raping.” And she turned off NPR.”

Entertainment Reading
Finished Leckie's The Raven Tower. I got drawn in and finished the last third of the book in a rush. Now I'm back on my heels wondering if I was sold a bill of goods. I think it was a big of a shaggy dog but I did like the ride.

I've received the copy of Robinson's Housekeeping that I ordered from our local bookstore. It came in the mail yesterday. Online book group is set for early May which feels very far off.

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

It's weird, man

I haven't found the new normal. This is as in-between as it gets. I'm working full time from home. I've got enough equipment but my desk isn't quite right and my arm hurts. I can see my teammates as online presences, names on the screen. We occasionally meet with video but it's a much more distant experience.

We're making a grand society-wide effort (I know we have a homicidal GOP and there are scoffing idiots but we outnumber them) to protect each other. We're hearing about illness levels but not numbers of deaths in the US. Not yet. Just read that our local city emergency management leader says he expects our local hospitalization to peak around 300 people in around 30 days.

Spring is unfolding in a damp and cloudy way here but with the first flowers and tree buds as well. I want to take photos of the forsythia, daffodils and peonies in the yard. There is enough food and supplies but it's really hard not to want to go to the store every few days. Trying to keep it to once a week. I guess between the four of us we are at least going fewer than four times a week.

I've started The Raven Tower by Leckie and am finding it a good, strange experience so far. Watched Snowpiercer last night. I skipped some of the gory fight scenes and the lengthy baby-eating discussion. I liked the acting, the design and the overall act of imagination. It reminded me of a good picture book - striking images, immediacy and a story that didn't bear much logical inquiry. As an allegory of course it's right on. My daughter started Inception and since I had already sat through a movie I wandered off after 40 minutes. I will probably go back and finish it later but I kept thinking about LDC's track record of dating teenagers and about Ellen Page's me too experience - but maybe that was on another movie.   

The dog's getting walked pretty regularly. I had to ban piano playing during working hours. But otherwise I encourage the girls' musical messing around. Both grandmas and brothers have checked in. We're doing this thing for now.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Rate of change

Is a-bounding along. I'm not adjusted, I don't think it's possible. I hear that the French sobered up quickly after being mostly unconcerned through last weekend. No schadenfreude, there's plenty of sobering left for my compatriots to do.

We may be required to work from home starting tomorrow. I'm reluctant because:

  • I'd prefer to keep my daily routine 
  • I like leaving my house
  • I have my tech set the way I like it at my office

I guess I'll start moving stuff home. Snacks, plant, tech equipment. My disinclination for change isn't any more special then anyone else's at this moment.

Everyone in the family is well. The four of us plus our brothers and their families and our mothers all in different locations. I don't know anyone who's suffering from the virus.

I am wondering what will come back. The disruption will go farther than a few weeks delay on events. I think it's unlikely the kids will go back to school this semester. Maybe in the fall. Local school system is distributing sack breakfasts and lunches "while supplies last". Infinite bless and speed them.

What have I seen the last of? I walked the dog around a park last weekend and noticed that I've outlived another swing set at the playground. I worry that the ones tall and sturdy enough for an adult to use are being phased out entirely. I can think of several that have gone away since I've moved to this town.

Last week I was feeling emotional about individual acts of generosity: Yo Yo Ma's cello pieces shared on twitter, the instructors I've been communicating with who are being kind and asking so politely for our help. I'm starting to have flashes of fear now. Fear of the unknown and fear for my family.

Here's a photo shared by Samantha Biobabbler @biobabbler on twitter:

 I gather she's somewhere up near Yosemite. Worth enlarging to see the crescent moon in the sky. I asked about the little outhouse - it's actually a well house.

HAHA we were asked to work from home unless absolutely necessary the next day. I'm at the home office with my two monitors my computer and dock and office chair. It's weird and I don't like it yet but it's working.

Monday, March 9, 2020


They weren't kidding about Interesting Times
I can't imagine what things will be like locally in ninety days. I am very curious and this is a note to myself to update on June 8.

A friend who started working at a grocery store says that there are people buying large amounts of staples like gtr.ade and wipes. But I haven't heard of shortages except for hand sanitizer. Going shopping tonight and we'll see what things are like at my somewhat grubby neighborhood store. 

Spring Break week here for the univ and school district. Lots of emergency plans in development but not implemented for now. Large flocks of question marks are circling like pigeons in the early evening.

I shared this explainer about flattening the curve with my spouse and it seems like a compelling reason to take precautions, avoid big gatherings, etc. even though only a few cases in Kansas are just now starting to be reported. Avoid exhausting all medical resources, keep infection rates spread out over a longer time to make it possible to respond.

Reading helps
Remote book group went well. We recommend The Underground Girls of Kabul by Nordberg. We give it 4.5 out of 5 stars. I give all 5 to The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Skloot. Going with fiction next time - Housekeeping by Robinson. My choice as it was recommended randomly in a tweet this week and I see an old college friend of mine raves about it on gr too. I'm worried it may be heavy on the white lady concerns with some xtianity but am looking forward to the language. 

Thursday, February 27, 2020

Words, music, travel, and vampires

I follow writer/librarian Kristen Arnett on twitter and she's a lovely ball of Florida / lesbian / 7 Eleven / book energy. She recently asked for poems to read and I found two in the thread that really hit me. One by Ross Gay: A Small Needful Fact . An interview with Gay was featured as the opening piece in the recent This American Life - Show of Delights which I loved from start to finish. I am not sure why Bim Adewunmi is not a household name already. Her wit, speaking voice and the Thirst Aid Kit podcast - don't miss her. Back to poetry, Maggie Smith: Threshold - I, like all cats want to be half in the door and half out. (Btw Maggie Smith is not Stevie Smith as I had initially assumed, whoops.) 

I don't remember ever hearing about Teddy Powell and his Orchestra. The music has been lifting my outlook this morning. Per the wikip article the band played from 1938 through the 40s.

I thought I'd skim this Kottke piece on his travel to Vietnam, Singapore and Qatar but got sucked in and read the whole thing at once. Solo travel to far flung locations doesn't interest me but I really enjoyed the vicarious exploration. A street food tour sounds like a good introduction to a city but I think I would find it overwhelming. I like to have more control over what I eat and when. I don't want to eat myself sick, or eat when I'm not hungry or...

The What We Do In the Shadows series has snuck up on me and I am totally hooked as of the end of the first season. The second one starts in April which is only a smidge over a month away so my timing is not terrible. It's deadpan with a bit of a slow warm up over the episodes although each one made me laugh at something. Core cast is great - four housemate vamps (Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Kayvan Novak and Mark Proksch)  and a human familiar (Harvey Guillen). The vampires are gorgeously pompous, vain and a bit out of step. The season ending cliffhanger is spicy. 

Wednesday, February 19, 2020


Last day of antibiotics for sinus infection. This was as sick as I've been for a long time. So glad to feel more energy coming back.

I've had a low backache for the time I've been taking the pills. I checked but it isn't listed as a side effect. I fear that planks and pushups are what is needed. I did some yesterday and hope to get walking (maybe even more) soon.

We freeze and thaw in turns. That's how February usually goes here. Last weekend it got into the 50s and felt amazing.

I wonder how I'm going to watch the 6th season of Schitt's Creek. I've finished the five on our free channel. I noticed that for the last season they didn't bleep the f word which still makes me laugh because I'm 10. The set of engagement rings also crack me up.

I've started the women in Afghanistan book. It's going to take an effort to get through but I'm glad that it's written in a cool tone. At least she's not trying to twist the knife. As a balance (? contrast, at least) I'm also reading The Impeachers about the trial of Andrew Johnson the VP of Lincoln who became president after the assassination. I keep thinking - Andrew Jackson? - and have to remind myself it's this other guy who I do not remember at all. Both books are written by women which pleases me.

A friend is doing a Nerd Nite presentation on Braille tonight and I think I'm going to allow myself to be hauled out to be in the audience. She is a teacher who does exciting things like create tactile materials for advanced math classes for her blind students. 

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Falling and rising

Back to work after missing five days. I thought I had a cold but it was instead a nasty virus that turned into sinus infection. So glad to be out of the house and upright. But I can tell it will be a challenge to do all 8 hours.

Currently there is wet snow falling. It is beautiful and my timing coming back to work kinda sucks. Fast falling large snowflakes are filling the air. The movement so far is straight down. The wind is supposed to shift during the day. It may turn to rain but then back to snow overnight and up to 30 mph gusts. Single digit temperatures next couple of nights. Ah pre-spring. We'll need to leave the faucet dripping.

Saw my dad at a distance in a dream last week. It was a neutral helpful appearance and it felt good to see him. I forgot that codeine ramps up the dreams - I've had some odd ones since then.

I've also taken large doses of Schitt's Creek over the last week to help me heal. I'm on the last season now. There is a particular kiss that I may go back and watch several more times. 💓💗💖💘💜 The actress who plays Stevie reminds me of a friend of mine.

I've lit several candles thinking good thoughts to the Danish and her upcoming possibilities. Last night I was saying intentions about my health, family members' well being, the Danish, travelers on the road. The match head popped off when I tried to strike it. I figured that was a lot to put on one little match. The next one lit right up.


Friday, January 31, 2020

End of January Owl

Twitter is very good for vicarious birding by which I mean reading actual birders' posts and seeing their beautiful pictures. Here's a barred owl having a peaceful moment in an oak tree as photographed by the grad students of Team Sparrow @HeidingSparrow.

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Blinks to Books

First week of the semester is over. And by the end of the weekend I was even feeling less flattened by it. Crummy weather made everything a little harder. On we go through the last days of January, however many weeks they last.

Schitt's Creek on the rku channel is providing my latest batch of reliable small-bite tv enjoyment. The cringe factor is lightened as these characters are such comic exaggerations. Alexis - so annoying yet not unbearable. I would prefer zero Chris Elliott but can soldier on. Wish I had a David of my very own. Canadian goodness.

Speaking of which, a friend just told me about Killjoys space series and I need to give it a try. The library listing has comments complaining about too much sex and violence. I hope there's just enough.

That friend and I cooked up a wonderful part of my revival weekend. I confirm that this is not a passing phase, I like it a lot. I may need to do more of it.

Getting ready to plunge into the remote book club selection The Underground Girls of Kabul . We're meeting at the end of Feb. If I start reading the book now then I may forget too much by meeting. But I don't want to leave it too late.

I'm rubbing my hands at the thought of reading the latest Herron book Joe Country.

I've been listening to The Mountain Goats - In League with Dragons cd. I hoped all the songs would be D&D themed but am satisfied with Clemency for the Wizard King (lyrics) and am grooving with many of the others. Younger (lyrics) is ominous good.

Thursday, January 2, 2020

End and Start Again


Mmm, dirt
Three things that taste like dirt but that I still enjoy eating:

  • Spinach
  • Beets
  • Black eyed peas

On NYE I made a fire in our backyard pit. It was the first fire I lit there after our move this past summer. It was twilight with a bright crescent moon and Venus in attendance. My youngest daughter came out and helped me get it going. Lighting the leaves produced smoke but not fire, newspaper was required. I wonder if people will eventually pay for fire starting paper as newspapers recede into nothingness. The sycamore and maple branches smelled wonderful. I was able to let go of the old year in the lick of flame and brilliant glow of the embers. Nod joined us and got to add some branches. Once we were done he doused the remnants.

I cooked the ritual foods yesterday, mostly for myself since everyone else in the fam was off doing their own thing most of the day. I looked for BEPs on NYE and didn't find any in my fave grocery store. Both dried and the canned were all sold out. Luckily I had one can left in the pantry. The cornbread, greens and zhuzhed-up black eyed peas made a tasty bowl of prosperity.

I made my husband cry first thing in the morning on Jan. 1. That's not a good omen, not the right foot really. I apologized and meant it. And still felt frustrated about the thing I snapped at him about. I went with him to a party on the Eve. I got to play a word game and that was fun even tho I did not find any word nerds like me. I dozed on a couch for about an hour before the pre-midnight scurrying began. Over the evening I drank a cider and a shot plus a little champ and we got home after 1am. I was low on dopamine the next morning (an excuse).

I can't decide if I want to avoid similar parties (Nod's friends) in the future or not. We went to one on solstice that was nice enough. It was smaller and quieter and had fewer kids. In order to enjoy such gatherings I need to make my own friends or form deeper bonds with Nod's probably.

I saw part of a screaming argument between my neighbor and her ex and her daughter yesterday evening. Maybe I wasn't the only one low on dopamine. I felt like a coward for going back into my house during the screaming outside. But I saw one adult who seemed to be calm. I've turned it over in my mind a bunch and me barging in on the fracas still doesn't sound like it would have been a good idea. Later there was an unmarked police car and then a patrol car and then someone had to go to the station. I am sorry for all of them.

A Different Eve
I've been watching the second season of Killing Eve. The first ends with our two protagonists coming into proximity after the whole season has been about them hunting each other. I thought it sort of took the wind out of the sails. Okay, they've clinched, now the suspense is done. I do love the actors/writing/characters though and have been chomping through S2. I live for Fiona Shaw's Carolyn.