End and Start Again

via GIPHY

Mmm, dirt
Three things that taste like dirt but that I still enjoy eating:

• Spinach
• Beets
• Black eyed peas

Offering
On NYE I made a fire in our backyard pit. It was the first fire I lit there after our move this past summer. It was twilight with a bright crescent moon and Venus in attendance. My youngest daughter came out and helped me get it going. Lighting the leaves produced smoke but not fire, newspaper was required. I wonder if people will eventually pay for fire starting paper as newspapers recede into nothingness. The sycamore and maple branches smelled wonderful. I was able to let go of the old year in the lick of flame and brilliant glow of the embers. Nod joined us and got to add some branches. Once we were done he doused the remnants.

I cooked the ritual foods yesterday, mostly for myself since everyone else in the fam was off doing their own thing most of the day. I looked for BEPs on NYE and didn't find any in my fave grocery store. Both dried and the canned were all sold out. Luckily I had one can left in the pantry. The cornbread, greens and zhuzhed-up black eyed peas made a tasty bowl of prosperity.

Sorry
I made my husband cry first thing in the morning on Jan. 1. That's not a good omen, not the right foot really. I apologized and meant it. And still felt frustrated about the thing I snapped at him about. I went with him to a party on the Eve. I got to play a word game and that was fun even tho I did not find any word nerds like me. I dozed on a couch for about an hour before the pre-midnight scurrying began. Over the evening I drank a cider and a shot plus a little champ and we got home after 1am. I was low on dopamine the next morning (an excuse).

I can't decide if I want to avoid similar parties (Nod's friends) in the future or not. We went to one on solstice that was nice enough. It was smaller and quieter and had fewer kids. In order to enjoy such gatherings I need to make my own friends or form deeper bonds with Nod's probably.

Domestic
I saw part of a screaming argument between my neighbor and her ex and her daughter yesterday evening. Maybe I wasn't the only one low on dopamine. I felt like a coward for going back into my house during the screaming outside. But I saw one adult who seemed to be calm. I've turned it over in my mind a bunch and me barging in on the fracas still doesn't sound like it would have been a good idea. Later there was an unmarked police car and then a patrol car and then someone had to go to the station. I am sorry for all of them.

A Different Eve
I've been watching the second season of Killing Eve. The first ends with our two protagonists coming into proximity after the whole season has been about them hunting each other. I thought it sort of took the wind out of the sails. Okay, they've clinched, now the suspense is done. I do love the actors/writing/characters though and have been chomping through S2. I live for Fiona Shaw's Carolyn.